About Me

People often assume that because I am a fitness coach with an educational background in health and nutrition, that I have always been passionate about fitness and nutrition.  Some may think that I bleed motivation.  However, that could not be further from the truth. 

Growing up, my father was a U.S. Marine, which meant when he would run, I would run.  I quickly grew to despise running and all things fitness.  Being forced to do something certainly does not foster passion.   

After graduating high school, I joined the military where my disdain for fitness continued.  In fact, I can tell you for certain that the only times I ever exercised were during the physical fitness tests required once each year.   

By the time I was 24, my entire adult life had been a constant series of struggles and I was already once divorced with a young son.  I did lose the weight post-pregnancy, but most certainly not through healthy habits – I lost the weight through binge drinking and abstaining from eating.  I was completely oblivious to the fact that my life had seemingly spiraled out of control.   

When my son was 4, I deployed to Iraq.  I am embarrassed to admit that it was only because of the absence of my son that I realized I had fallen so far from where I longed to be.  I had spent my son’s every waking moment being the absolute best mother I could be, the mother I had wanted as a child.  In fact, I spent a month working the night shift and the only sleep I allowed myself was the two and a half hours he was away at preschool.  I had convinced myself that a “good mother” would not need help.   

In addition to feeling as though I was alone in the world, needing to do everything myself, I felt as though my needs were inferior to those of my son.  I made absolutely no attempt to care for myself appropriately as evidenced through my nutrition choices (or lack thereof) and drinking as a means of escape.  However, it became painfully obvious during my six months away that in neglecting my own needs, I had completely lost myself, my entire identity, and made feeble attempts to mask the pain by any means necessary. 

Mothers give themselves so much grief, and completely deny themselves and their interests for the benefit of others, especially their children.  For me, the turning point was simply the ability to step back and see where I was from a different perspective.  I had no passion, no drive, no motivation for anything aside from my son.  Sometimes simply being aware of an issue will initiate the spark of change, as it did for me.  I was more than his mother and I longed to find out who that woman was. 

Shortly after returning from Iraq, I remarried and learned I was pregnant a few short months later.  I clung tight to the knowledge I had gained abroad and was determined to get to a point where I recognized, as well as cared for and about myself again.   

I made a commitment to care for myself shortly after the birth of my daughter.  I started completing short workouts each morning and soon grew to love the act of exercise itself.  It transformed my body, but more than that, it transformed how I viewed myself.  I grew to appreciate myself again.  I learned that in taking time to myself each day, I was better to my family.  More reliable and more enjoyable to be around. 

Such a simple thing, exercise, completely transformed my life.  It was through these revelations that my passion for fitness and nutrition began.  No one is born with passion.  It develops over time through changes in habits and behavior, and the acquisition of knowledge.  Passion must be cultivated through experiences that force you out of comfort zones.  It is through challenges that you learn what you are truly capable of, and through these capabilities, comes the passion to challenge existing limits.  However, it must all begin with the realization that you are worthy of being passionate about something other than those around you.